Sorry

This is something I have never said to my granddad, whose tenth death anniversary falls today. During his last years, we both were not on cordial terms. The terminal illness he suffered, moved me enough to talk to him and enquire about his health, otherwise, it was mostly hi, bye, ok.

Now that I think of it, I feel foolish. I used to call it his arrogancy, my young blood, but no, it was totally foolish on my part. Till now I was only trying to find ways of making me feel good by blaming it on all such things.

Since childhood  he was the one who had taken care of me and my two siblings. He was the driving force behind us for our upbringing. His knowledge was legendary in our relatives, but so was his temper. Maybe the same genes came into me, as I grew up. And that temper led to a lot of arguments. Young age is so foolish. Sigh!!!

But sometimes I wonder, was he really that hot tempered. One incidence is still bothering me. One of our cars was in a garage for a long time, since its body was to be changed totally. We got it after quite a few months. The day we got the car, he asked me to go with the mechanic to buy some parts for the car, and me...i took out the car on the road, and dashed it against another. But surprising he didnt say a word. So he had a temper in the right place? Now that I think of it. Maybe yes.

Today the similar things which I used to argue with him, are staring at my face, and I realise, it was his experience which was talking, which I like a fool was not able to understand then.

Unfortunately, till his death, I didnt tell him sorry, and now I guess its too late.........

Why am I writing this, I dont know....felt like saying sorry today......