FB Photos

Yesterday as I prepared myself to click the Rakshabandhan photos of my 9 year old daughter tying Rakhi to her brothers, she warned me against posting them on FB !! “Click the photos if you want, but don’t post them on facebook” is what she said. My teenage son also supported her in the same.

Been thinking about it… the way we (I mean our generation) and our seniors are active on facebook, our kids are not very keen about it.

I get such warnings of not posting their snaps on facebook during every birthday party, outing, vacation.

Are they growing up to be unsocial? Nopes I don’t think so.

It is the ease of communication to the current generation which was not present during our time, which has made us so addicted to facebook.

For me the best part of facebook is getting an “Add friend” request from a long out- of-touch friend or relative. For me I get excited when out of the blue, thru one facebook friend I get in touch with another. When we were small, we did not have access to mobiles, whatsapp and other messengers, like todays kids. Most of us depended on keeping in touch with each other over phone calls, emails(at a later stage). Our elders were in touch with each other by writing letters… an art which I believe is missing in our generation.. let alone be present in our kids.

Communication and keeping in touch is far easier for the todays kids, then what we and our elders had.

Our kids will never know the fun of giving blank/crank calls thru landline numbers which were in our time very difficult to trace. Modern day  lovers, have direct access to each others mobile numbers.. they will never know the fun/excitement/fear of calling on the landline number, hoping that it wont be picked up by any other family member. Now they can directly call each other, message each other.

Just a few thoughts when I started thinking, am I overdoing it by posting snaps on facebook… but then I think our life was far far better…..

Disconnect to Connect

Am a self confessed Facebook, twitter, whatsapp addict. Have in the past many a times taken a break from Fb for a week or month…but have always come back.

Whatsapp is one addiction which was very easy to deaddict myself from. Whatsapp works on a the basic rule…you send one ..u receive many. So if you stop sending those jokes around… people will also stop sending the same to you.

So what remains was Facebook and twitter. Last week I had to move out at 1 pm from my office for some urgent work. In my rush, I forgot my mobile at the office. The ghost rings in my ear, the ghost vibrations in my pocket were so disturbing. Every now and then, I would put my hand in my pocket to remove my non existent mobile phone.

By evening however, I was beginning to enjoy my “disconnected” world. Spent some good time with the kids without the phone ringing or pinging out a notification, watched a movie without having to talk on the phone in between. Loved the evening. It was like those times when mobiles did not exist in the world.

Next day morning however was a shock. When I came back to the office, had 124 missed calls. Though a few were repeat calls from many… but still was shocked to realise how much time we spend in staying connected.

I made a decision then that I would disconnect my self to connect to the real world. Now daily my phone goes in Quite mode from 6 pm to morning 7 am. No phones calls, no social notifications, no emails. I do cheat on the social media part by going online, but a few of my friends keep reminding me of my decision… and trust me it actually helps me off it.

Now I am disconnected from virtual world…but connected to real world. I like it that way. Hope to keep it that way.

If the shoe fits…..

These are my observations…about human nature….you could be any one of them…if the shoe fits…

In our society, friend circle, workplace, family there are different kinds of people.

There are some who do all the work, and are happy to see others enjoy the benefits. They will just sit back and smile when they see others reaping what they have sowed for all. But most of the times their hard work credit goes to others because many of times people are not aware of their efforts put in.

There are some who WILL do all the work, and then keep on reminding you that they have done it. Their hard work is washed away with their constant reminders.

There are some who will work only once. And every other time will come out after the work is done, ask how the others have done and then start with their self analysis that they could have done better had they done it.

There are some who are self appointed leaders, they wont work, but will only guide, advice or order. Mind you there is a huge difference between guiding, advising and ordering, the brownie points go as per the same sequence.

Then there are some who dont work, and will always complain about others work. The only thing they know is to object. To try and find a flaw. To stall the work.

There are some who let others do the work, and when time comes will hog the limelight as if they have done everything. These people mostly prey on the first kind of people described above.

There are some who work only for their own benefits…be it social name, monetary gain or some other gain.

While there are some who sit back and reap the fruits of others hardwork. They never complain, never crib, never appreciate. And they are the people who reap the benefits of all the above type of people.

Now you decide what kind of person you are…see which shoe fits…if the shoe fits…

The Slut?

Was discussing live-in relationship with a friend and then even posted the topic on my community group. As usual the discussion on the community group went haywire and the one with the friend was very vocal.

The mentality of many, with whom I have discussed this topic is that they look upon the female as a slut, whore. I have always argued why dont u call the boy with similar names…never received a reply from them.

Personally I dont have anything against live-in relationships…its a mutual understanding between two individuals. But then why blame only one partner if you are against it.

Forget live-in relationships…even with extra marital affairs…it is always the female who is blamed. Is the man involved in the extra marital affair innocent then ?

In our society when a man breaks off his live-in or extra marital affair and returns back to the family…he is “Subah ka bhula, Shyam ko lauta” and if a female returns back she is subjected to a lot of names and in most cases not accepted back in the family.

We live in a MCP society actually….

Of Facebook Relatives and mobile numbers…

So when one has free time, s/he starts marking Uncles, Aunts, Cousins on Facebook. Set up the relationships. Not bad till one starts receiving calls for a certain relation from collection agencies.

The social network boom has got almost every person hooked on it. And Bank and Credit card defaulters better beware. Collection agencies have now started tapping Facebook to find the elusive persons or have started contacting the relatives for recovery.

Now how do they contact the relatives? Simple thru their mobile numbers which have been posted on the profiles!!!

Read a few newspaper articles about such incidences. Got to know of one such incidence yesterday thru a cousin. Infact read one article in the newspaper in which a Collection agency agent befriended an elusive defaulter on Facebook, arranged for a meet, where he found that the real intention was to recover his dues.

Ones intention of setting up relations is not bad, but cant certainly get you in trouble if your relative is that elusive defaulter…….

But yes…posting of mobile numbers should certainly be thought of again!!!

Sources :

http://www.dnaindia.com/mumbai/report_that-sexy-facebooker-is-a-recovery-agent_1478225

http://www.ndtv.com/article/cities/recovery-agents-harass-defaulters-kin-on-facebook-134654

http://www.goanewsonline.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=6830

The Shoulder

How many times have we leaned on a Friends shoulder while talking. Carefree…without asking him or her.

How many times have we used a friends shoulder to fire our gun….and s/he never minds.

Whenever we felt like crying our friend’s shoulder is always available.

Important work to be done the friend never shies from the responsibility, or complains about the burden.

And last but not the least….It is that very shoulder which carries you to the cemetery in the end……

Friends….They are my shoulders :)

Angel in the Cloud

Here I am … sitting on the cloud….. confused …sad…wondering what my near and dear ones are doing. Wondering how will they get in touch with me again. I want to go back….back to all the fun and frolic….back to wiping a tear shed by someone….back to wishing a Happy Birthday to someone….Back to POKE someone !!!!

 

Yes Poke!!! .. No I am not dead….I just deactivated my Facebook account yesterday.

 

And now here I am missing it.

 

Infact the feeling might be similar to dying…I really dont know if one who is dead faces the same feelings, but yes, I am worried on Day One…worried that I might miss out a lot.

 

Facebook addiction for me has been very bad, so bad that twice I have tried to detox myself from it, but was back on it with all my time whenever I have competed my self set detox period. So decided to permanently deactivate my account(though Facebook has been kind enough to inform me that I can just reactivate by entering my user name and password again )

 

Come to think of it, did I not have a life before Facebook. Were not my friends in touch with me on phone, on email. Then why think that this is the end of life. For those whom we really mean something have other ways of being in touch always. There are a few for whom I believe my posts are just like the newspapers they read in the morning, to be informed, to be amused, to be entertained. Apologies if anyone finds this offending. I have nothing against such people, because it was I who was posting , they never asked me to post thus.

 

Anyways…now here I am sitting on the cloud like an Angel…singing my lonely song…..till I get over the feeling ……..

Bhaag Bhaag……

Idhar daud hai, udhar daud hai, yeh jina yaro daud hai, koyee aage hai, koyee pichhe hai, bas bhagam bhag hai daud hai

While going to my bank, happened to see school children, women, men just run…run for the bus….running across the road, running on the footpath, lest they miss their bus. I just stepped aside and let them pass. This gave me an opportunity to look around and see that almost everybody is running…either for the bus or to reach his or her destination on time. Even I for one was walking at a brisk pace to reach my bank, though now that I think of it …I really did not need to.

So what is that makes us run…run for standing ahead in the queue, run to catch the bus, run to catch the train, run to reach our goals, whom are we competing with? Certainly not the people who are running ahead, behind or besides us, but we are certainly trying to compete with time. Time…one that waits for no one. And what will we be winning in the end. Nothing…we will just be just losing the time and opportunity to pause and look around us , to absorb the beauty of life around us. We are running in our lives, trying to earn, and in return losing out on quality time to be spent with our family and friends, before we reach a retirement age.

I paused today…I waited there on the side for a few seconds, if not minutes, and saw the hurried looks on each and every passerby…everybody just running at his pace…racing against time…bas bhagam bhag hai daud hai….

"Poor man runs for his daily food,
While a Rich man runs to digest his daily food"

Am I ever serious....???

A friend asked me "Are you ever serious. All your posts on social networking sites are so funny". I retorted back....if i start posting my problems, will you follow my posts? Sorry for being crude mate...I know u are going to read this and understand.

For me being on a social networking site is like physically sociallising. One doesnt carry his troubles to a party or a social get-together. One goes there for enjoying. Ok you may discuss your problems on and off..but then there is a time and place for everything.

I do put up my serious thoughts....but then sometimes...what might be serious for me...might be light hearted humour for others, and when they comment back in  good humour..it lightens up the  mood further. So there you are. I am serious also..but open for nice and light chat, wherein the mood does not remain serious. One can even put it as ..... Online socialising is my de-stress media.....

Again recently I was asked what do I get from posting so much on Facebook and Twitter..my reply was simple, I know that somewhere someone might be smiling on reading this, not necessary that I get a like or comment for that, but it makes me happy...

P.s This post was lying in my drafts since more than a year...posting it today while cleaning my drafts :) The last para was added today....

Being in touch

Met a school friend on facebook after around 21 years. It was fun talking to him. Though we chatted on the fb chat…we both were down the memory lane talking of our school teachers, friends, places.
Now that I think of it wonder if our children will have that kind of fun to talk to friends after so many years. There will always be a difference between them and us. During our school time 20 years back we didnt have mobile phones, social networking sites, emails.
Passing on Telephone numbers then was also not always feasible more so because telephones were not available in all houses and kids were random allowed to make calls.
I remember I used to be in touch with one of friends who had to shift to another city thru letters. But then even that stopped over the time.
Now the kids have some many mediums to be in touch.
Anyways it was nice chatting to my friend after so many years….

Friends

Who are they?????

The one who holds your hand in a crowd, which is against you and says
“Tu tension mat let. Apun sambhal lenge sab”
The one who taps your back, when you are wrong and says
“I knew it, aise ghaple bus tu hi karr sakta hai”
The one who does everything for you, but then refuses to take thanks and says
“Abbe yeh formality ka natak mat karr”
The one who message you saying
“Abbe reply to karr”
The one who make you smil and stops your tears and himself starts crying and says
“Aankh me bhi abhi hi kachra girna tha, aur tu saale band karr ab apna ye Radio”

FRIENDS ------ Dont ever forget them :)

Overdose of Social Networking

Lately I find myself just staring at my social networking web page, wondering what to do. Facebook or Twitter, I am just not able to know what is to be done. People have been asking me about where are my new posts, but frankly my mind is blank.
Infact, I am even tired of all new mobile phones being more inclined towards Social networking applications. Its making me sick now. There was a time, when I could not do with Facebook or Twitter, but now I dont even log on to them for hours together, without having to worry which friend is doing what. Being updated is good…but being constantly updated…………………………………
Maybe an overdose of being on the social networking sites has killed the fun, or maybe they are really losing their charm as time is going by……….
Whatever it maybe, but I have decided today to stop my mobile live updates of both Twitter and Facebook…….maybe the previous system of checking them once in a while will be worthwhile……….

Wedding Invitations….

The best issue about wedding is taken up in a recent Vodaphone advertisement, where the character is ruing the fact that even after posting of wedding cards one still has to call up the relatives etc etc etc.

As far as the relatives and friends are staying at a far away places, posting the cards to them and then calling them is ok. But if they are staying in your own city or even in the neighboring cities…then posting the card is considered a definite way of breaking your relation with them in India.

The guardians of the boy or girl to be married move out in the morning and end their day in the night, distributing the cards. Sometimes they look like zombies during the marriages if this procedure is not ended atleast 3-4 days before marriage.

What I dont understand is why are we Indians are so hell bent on receiving the marriage cards personally. Why can the poor family of the bride and groom be spared this torture. What is wrong in receiving the cards by post or courier? After all the family has other chores to complete before the marriage. Shouldnt that be considered OK to accept the cards by post or courier.

Second is that why cant we accept the fact that if we receive the card with an additional card asking about the number of members who will be attending the marriage, it is ok. This is considered a BIG INSULT. Nothing wrong in it frankly….if the family of bride and groom are aware beforehand as to how many people will be attending the function, at least they can be assured that the food wont be more or less during the marriage. This system is followed in certain castes but is considered under no-no in majority of the castes. Some castes also mention that only a certain number of people are invited per card. Again nothing wrong.

But such issues are sufficient for severing off the ties amongst families and friends. Having a marriage in the house is a big thing, but it also is a major reason amongst many for make or break of relations.Things need to be changed…wonder if they will???

The unknown face

Being on the social networking for so long, I have set one rule for myself, never to add an unknown face. I dont care if my number of friends dont go up. I am quite happy with the limited people I have. This is how I am trying to protect my privacy and also my friends whom I have added.

Many a times, one receives request from people about whom you have never heard of, friends of friends, who are maybe trying to set a record of having the maximum number of friends in their account. I have always confirmed with the “mutual friends” about their identity and to my shock have discovered that even they have added only because they are sharing the same person with “mutual friends”. This trend is very dangerous and can lead to a lot of complications.

A number of times I have also mailed back these requesters asking them to indentify themselves more clearly. Some have sent back their identities, some have accepted the fact that its a case of mistaken identity. But one person whom I have lately corresponded has not only managed to raise my anger level, but has also gone to the extremes of accusing me of accepting friendship only on face value. I have refused the request, but the reply has certainly bugged me and on enquiring I have discovered that this particular person has an habit of criticizing people, coupled with the fact that that most of the persons friends have no inkling about the true identity.

Social networking is about socializing but while doing that we should not forget that we should behave in the same ways as if we are meeting in a civilized society. We do get oddballs over there also, but then we are facing a oddball with a face. Not someone who is creating trouble while keeping the face hidden. I am not ready to accept this unknown face, and will never ever do so.