The best issue about wedding is taken up in a recent Vodaphone advertisement, where the character is ruing the fact that even after posting of wedding cards one still has to call up the relatives etc etc etc.
As far as the relatives and friends are staying at a far away places, posting the cards to them and then calling them is ok. But if they are staying in your own city or even in the neighboring cities…then posting the card is considered a definite way of breaking your relation with them in India.
The guardians of the boy or girl to be married move out in the morning and end their day in the night, distributing the cards. Sometimes they look like zombies during the marriages if this procedure is not ended atleast 3-4 days before marriage.
What I dont understand is why are we Indians are so hell bent on receiving the marriage cards personally. Why can the poor family of the bride and groom be spared this torture. What is wrong in receiving the cards by post or courier? After all the family has other chores to complete before the marriage. Shouldnt that be considered OK to accept the cards by post or courier.
Second is that why cant we accept the fact that if we receive the card with an additional card asking about the number of members who will be attending the marriage, it is ok. This is considered a BIG INSULT. Nothing wrong in it frankly….if the family of bride and groom are aware beforehand as to how many people will be attending the function, at least they can be assured that the food wont be more or less during the marriage. This system is followed in certain castes but is considered under no-no in majority of the castes. Some castes also mention that only a certain number of people are invited per card. Again nothing wrong.
But such issues are sufficient for severing off the ties amongst families and friends. Having a marriage in the house is a big thing, but it also is a major reason amongst many for make or break of relations.Things need to be changed…wonder if they will???
My wife has totally disagreed with me about this topic. But I happened to recieved a wedding invite which state "Alone/With your partner/With your family" and Alone and With your family were striked out!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBut then each person has his or her own opinion......
Jayant,
ReplyDeleteI recently had a similar discussion, if the card is addressed to the Head of the family, does that imply that the entire family of that Head goes for the wedding? What happens in a Joint family where you have three sons, with their families all staying under one roof? Do they all go?
I was discussing this more and as my BIL mentioned, in the US, they expect you to do an RSVP and the number of people. Nothing wrong. We accept it when we go there on vacations, and we even state, how professional, but when it comes to our own cultures, as you mention, we feel it as an insult.
No solutions to this one..
Families with all under one roof...that is one more very interesting topic. We are a joint family and most of the times we have found that we have not been invited for smaller occasions....but we undertand the problem...the host might be afraid...what if the entire family lands up!!!!!!:))))
ReplyDeleteI believe if we start accepting the RSVP invite system, then maybe such issues wont occur.....