Many a times, I have found myself on the wrong side of many people. I believe what I have said is right, but then circumstances and the people around project it in a different way to the people whom I am rubbing the wrong way. This is leading me to self analysis where I am going wrong.
Being short tempered is my biggest mistake, which is being used by many. Listening to the same complaints day in day out, and then not speaking to the person against whom the complaints are being made, not clarifying with the person, and then losing out the steam on that person is something I have never been able to control.
Being aware of double standards of certain people, being aware I am being used and still falling for the trap is again one of my problems.
Seeing certain people act sweetly in front of their counterparts,, projecting that they are the most gullible people in the world, the biggest sufferers in the world, and actually two timing their counterparts. by creating trouble, angers me a lot. I used to wonder how the cast of certain serials can be so wicked. But seeing it in practical world is really shocking. Such people change their words so quickly in presence and absence of other people, is something I have never been able to digest.
But then where does all this put me in? I open my mouth, and everybody thinks, I am overreacting. I open my mouth and everybody thinks I am fighting, whereas I open my mouth to make certain things come out in the open.
I have till date always reacted eye for an eye, word for a word, but then there are certain people with whom I have not reacted that way and who are taking my silence as my weakness or my being wrong. I am afraid that one day I will lose my patience badly. I am afraid that one day, when I react, again those people who have otherwise agreed with me, will step back, because of the way I react.
So what do I do?
Control my anger? I can do that to certain extent. I can also try to avoid listening other peoples complaints. After all I am not a complaint box. They can wash their own dirty linen if they want to.
Avoid such people? Not always easy. They are people whom I meet, see, interact on day to day basis.
Waiting for ideas.....
Jayant,
ReplyDeleteVery timely note, as I too have been going through this same situation for a considerable amount of time.
You cannot stand fools, you cannot tolerate people who do not take their tasks seriously, and you cannot tolerate people who as you aptly put, back bite on a regular basis.
I have wondered, is there a difference between the personal world and the Corporate world? Personally, if I am wrong, I would prefer if the person tells me on my face, however in an organization, do you tell off you colleague. Do you loose your temper?
Is this difference because of time? An eg. 10 years ago, the people who were my managers, my seniors, would blast me off in front of others, if I did some thing wrong. I never complained. Today, one cannot do it, as this is considered harrasment.
One's options truly are limited. However looking at it objectively, if every one started losing their tempers and if every one started telling off every one, where would that leave society? Very soon, we would probably be carrying guns to work!
The answer is not easy, I would definitely not suggest backing off or keeping quiet or even avoiding people, but making a statement of fact. It is upto the person who is told to accept it or not. As you and I have the right to tell some one, so does the other. However as long as the point has been made, I believe a message has been sent.
Could be wrong, could be right.. Rajesh