After marriage life and technology

Its marriage season and there is a marriage every other day. I was wondering whether like yesteryears, do the brides still cry during their marriages? Not as before I feel.

So what does that mean? Are they emotionally detached from their families unlike before?

Again I feel the real reason is not attachment or detachment. In the past the means of communications were very limited or hardly there. If the bride had to go to another town, then it was always difficult for her to be in touch with her family. An occasional letter(if the girl could read and write), a messenger in form of a visitor to the town, Long distance trunk calls, occasional snapping of photographs(if girls in-laws allowed that) etc etc. For meeting the family sometimes it would take as much as more than a year.

Nowadays, a must have item for the girl to take with her to her in-laws place is her private cell phone. Social networking will keep the family posted of everything from her first day in the new  bedroom to her honeymoon to her different stages of life.

Girls nowadays laugh at the thought of crying during marriage, their normal retort is ….we will be in constant touch with each other…..so why cry.

Like always, technology has succeeded in reducing one more emotional moment in everybody’s life….but at the same time added new emotions one has , while sharing life LIVE…….

Games for the empty mind….

Travelling daily for 60 km to my office and back, I have a lot of free time to empty my mind. And sometimes I find the I have emptied my mind totally. Yesterday while driving I was playing a game in my head. Simple but effective enough to spend the one and a half hour on the road.

I started off with my brother in law and his siblings names. My brother in law’s name is Vinod and his siblings are Harsha and Mayur. As per the hindi meaning of the name…all are related to each other by meaning also. I started racking my head over other such names. Didnt have to go far. My brother in laws cousins are named Jyoti, Deepak and Sandhya. Again all meanings related to light. Good way of relating the kids with names also. Then I remembered a family in my building, Deepak and his wife Deepali. Their two sons are aptly named Deep and Divesh. All of them indicate lamp.

I tried to rack my head over more such family names but was not able to , I am sure there might be more. So I shifted gears to families with name starting from the same alphabet. My immediate neigbour is Jeetu, his wife is Jagruti and their son is named Jash. So they have a common ‘J’ amongst them. I remember one more family I was acquainted with….Mac and Marie Machado, and their kids Manisha and Mihir!!! Again ‘M’ as a common link between them.

Frankly these many names took me the entire route of 30 kms with this mind game.:)

Might start more mind games while travelling now…..

Wedding Invitations….

The best issue about wedding is taken up in a recent Vodaphone advertisement, where the character is ruing the fact that even after posting of wedding cards one still has to call up the relatives etc etc etc.

As far as the relatives and friends are staying at a far away places, posting the cards to them and then calling them is ok. But if they are staying in your own city or even in the neighboring cities…then posting the card is considered a definite way of breaking your relation with them in India.

The guardians of the boy or girl to be married move out in the morning and end their day in the night, distributing the cards. Sometimes they look like zombies during the marriages if this procedure is not ended atleast 3-4 days before marriage.

What I dont understand is why are we Indians are so hell bent on receiving the marriage cards personally. Why can the poor family of the bride and groom be spared this torture. What is wrong in receiving the cards by post or courier? After all the family has other chores to complete before the marriage. Shouldnt that be considered OK to accept the cards by post or courier.

Second is that why cant we accept the fact that if we receive the card with an additional card asking about the number of members who will be attending the marriage, it is ok. This is considered a BIG INSULT. Nothing wrong in it frankly….if the family of bride and groom are aware beforehand as to how many people will be attending the function, at least they can be assured that the food wont be more or less during the marriage. This system is followed in certain castes but is considered under no-no in majority of the castes. Some castes also mention that only a certain number of people are invited per card. Again nothing wrong.

But such issues are sufficient for severing off the ties amongst families and friends. Having a marriage in the house is a big thing, but it also is a major reason amongst many for make or break of relations.Things need to be changed…wonder if they will???

Nursery Rhymes

How many times have repeated the Nursery Rhymes in our life. During our school time, out of fun in College and now teaching our kids the same thing. However once I was very much impressed by an article on nursery rhymes and also discussed the same with my family and friends.

The article proved how the nursery rhymes are full of pain and negativity.

Lets start with the most loved rhyme….

Jack and Jill…..jack fell down…broke his crown…and Jill came tumbling after. So by the end of the rhyme we know that both were injured!!!!

Lets take one more of the most recited rhyme….

Humpty Dumpty…..It had a great fall….all the kings horses and all the kings men…could not put him together again……Tragedy again.

The list continues…

Rock a by baby….when the bough breaks…the cradle will fall…down comes the baby …..cradle and all!!!!!!! Now if that isnt a tragedy with the baby falling down then what is?

One more…..London Bridge is falling down….

Why do all have to fall down in Ringa Ringa roses??

Itsy Bitsy spider washed down the drain….

Take the rhyme…Sing a song of six pence…..where four and twenty black birds are baked in the pie!!!!!!

Baa baa black sheep…..one third of the wool goes to the master…one third goes to the Dame(Dame again means an higher authority) thus two thirds have gone to the rich…while only one third is left for the little boy(Common Man?)….doesnt this compare with the taxes we pay from our hard work!!!!!

I can go on over here…but what i cant understand is that such dark rhymes are acceptable in schools all over the world !!

Were we being prepared mentally for the challenges of life and are we preparing our children also in the same way?

Monuments

In the past I have written about the waste of money planned on building the Shivaji Maharaj Statue in Mumbai. Now with the Government which had planned for the statue back in power, for the next 5 years, the work will be starting soon on it.  Recently I  read the novel The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. Since I have not ever been to Washington, I saw the pictures of the monuments mentioned in the book on the net.

These monuments built ages ago are today a symbol for the city of Washington. That made me think of any monument present in Mumbai.

Well we do have some structures….under Heritage Structures….but I dont think they are taken good care of. We have age old gardens like Hanging Garden, Five Garden, National Park….but they are all in a very bad shape. We have structures like the Victoria Terminus, Central Library, Rajabai Tower(the less said about its condition the better). But are these monuments really looked upon as tourist attractions.

There are other places in India which are hardly taken care of …..Jalianwala Baug in Amritsar, one doesnt even come to know of the infamous well, which has now been covered up, and not a single signboard has been kept in its vicinity to indicate its history. The bullet marks on the wall are left to everybodies imagination.

So that again make me think, that if we dont want to take good care of such huge monuments why build them at all. Ofcourse a developing city like Mumbai needs tourist attractions, but first atleast take care of the existing ones. If we cant take care of our existing monuments, there is absolutely no need for additional ones.